Now:
How stupid?!
I'd never believe in how i feel twards you anymore, NOT anymore.
I thought i was in the wrong, tht i actually sees things in the wrong light.
Well, turns out tht you've changed too or rather in the feelings-wise.
Of course, t your beloved friends, the you've-changed thing is good, but not t me!
I even cherish thoughts tht it's possible.
Ya, it'll not be, and is not going t be(i assure myself).

I thought if you'd be around me when i need you, thts enough for me.
But it isn't gnna be, from last time alr and i didn't realise tht uh.
Im foolish.
Please smack me and shout "WAKE UP CALL"!
Maybe i just doesn't want t wake up from my perfectionist world.
Just 'cos the reality is so much uglier ever.
Now i know tht Mom, i know your things alr!
"Tht not everyone in this world could abide by me and let me do and make out what i wanted my world t be".
Im naive ok, 'cos i just found tht out, probably only too late.

Kim, i doesn't want t think "ifs" and "buts" anymore.
Maybe i should face this reality and move on t my life.
Thts the best option for me, right now in my life.
Although im feeling helpless now, i know tht my mind is set already.
Thanks for the conversations before my msn died on me.
From then till now, i brainstormed and feel alot, tht it's clearly impossible already!
Do u support me too?

Let me die from this cold world.
It's suffocating me each day.
I never want t live like this alone, never again!
): ): ):


Mood: sad sad sad