Suddenly i feel tht i should jot down my stuffs.
I don't feel like writing on my journal 'cos im abit lazy lah.
Then again, i think typing is faster and easier 'cos im busy too.
Ya, busy yet i want t blog.
'cos I want to remember the details when i feels like reading.

Too much philosophy blablabla in my head uh.
Have been talking abt it t my friends online.
Haha!
They were abit "stunned" loh.
'cos I don't usually chat about those bah.
Thomas even awed when i talked t him abt it loh.
Like im damn shallow lah!!!
Grrrr~

Anw, im serious loh.
In our life, it's just a coin with 2 sides, being those good sides and bad sides.
My friends always tell me t look on the bright side, think of his good points blablabla.
But we need to face the reality at times.
If we live in a world full of contradictions, lies and only the good points, when ever are we gnna grow up?
In the past, I tend t look at the good things and overlook the bad ones.
Is that why, im failing since god-knows-when?
I'd always lie t myself, force myself t see the good sides.
Am i even wrong?
-sighsigh-
I always use my brain.
Prolly far too much, to the extent tht i even uses it for my love problems.
I thought when you falls in love, you are blinded and lost your logic?
I always end up in a conflict between my brain and my heart.
Mingye always tells me t listen t my heart, t follow my heart blablabla.
But could i?
Am i able?
Can i even step out of my shell?
Can i let down my guard and make a decision alone?
Or am i going t use my brain and grind the answer out?

Today I told Thomas, that I can't fall in love.
Neither could i let anyone fall in love with me.
I just feels tht everything will end up in a disaster.
I mean I had got into the sticky situation twice, and i don't want the next one t end up tht way too.
'cos of this problem, I've always been putting on my guards.
So much so that I have been using my brain alot in the matters of love.
I know it's unwise.
Prolly im just protecting myself from getting hurt once more.
Truth t be told, someone reprimanded me and said, "Have you even realised that you have not stepped out of your past?"
Have i?
Or have i not?
The question is still lingering in my mind.
I guess the fear is still there.
The put-down-guard and becoming-fragile factors start popping when i falls in love.
Well, it's that bad.

JL told me to chill, and think about it slowly.
Says i shouldn't make a haste decision 'cos of time/influence.
Says she'd bring her tarot cards on Thursday for me.
Says do i feel happy with him.
Says you'll meet the right one soon, i guesss.
Says if you're with someone and he can make you forgets your past, he is the one.
Says nothing is smooth-sailing right.
Says i feel the same for you.
She gave me all the assuring talks.
And I think she deserve my love, your love, the right one's love tooo:D
So i think i shall not be emo.
And feel the love that's everywhere anywhere!
(: (: (:
Thanks love, for just talking t me!
And the below chunk is just for you:D
All the fun, the craziness we had tgt!
All of "you" in those peektures are the best thing that happened in my life!
*Blessed*

Anw, t end this post, i want t say smtg.
Happy 18th, baby!
Hope you like our early birthday celebration yesterday.
And that the sinful MudPie was good enough as your birthday cake.
Also, we are going t make your subsequent birthdays an unforgettable one!
Loveyou, Jialin:D
-bearhug-