My mind's in a whirl.
Everything just falls apart suddenly, when I see xxx again.
For a moment, my heart nearly pounded out, my breathing went up rapidly, and I got into some subconscious actions.
I keep on hesitating.
I wanted to do something to make a difference in our lives.
But I was too well, over-pride, and shy.
I don't know what and how to start the ball rolling.
I swear I didn't know I had feelings for xxx after so long.
-smack self-
Im so dense.
I always think that he couldn't find anyone.
Upon hearing from bestie that he nearly got into one, my act-strong front went shattered.
I was so proud.
I didn't now I couldn't let it go.
Whenever I sees xxx, my already-positive mindset goes haywired.
What ever could I do?
I need to find out the answers myself, I guess.
Btw, I really hope everything goes well for xxx.
They'd think that I hate xxx for what he did to me in the past.
I couldn't bear to try to hate him.
Hating someone means remembering that person in the negative way.
Well, I'd remember xxx, but not in that manner.
I don't hate him at all.
Given a choice between
xxxx and
xxx, I chose the latter.
I don't know why.
They said xxxx looks so much better than xxx but I think in r/s, you don't weigh things by what you see rightt.
It should be what and how you feel towards the person.
It should be natural.
Although bestie and friends have always said, "
You cannot go back to the old one anymore, it won't be the same".
I doubt so.
If there ain't quarrels to keep a r/s going, don't you think it's mundane?
Well well, I leave it to fate long time ago.
And I really hope God wouldn't play a mean trick on me.
I know I was at fault in the past.
Believe me, that I've change to the better.
pssh, pardon me for not saying the names out.
i guess it's better to leave it as it is.
i want it to be somehow a diary to myself.
thanks lovelies:D
xoxo,
Elizabeth
